【轉貼】離婚

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英銀髮族離婚率升高

《泰晤士報》報導，最新的統計顯示，60歲以上英國銀髮族的離婚率從1998年開始持續
上升，與其他年齡層的離婚率跌至22年來最低點形成了強烈對比。

這股銀髮族離婚潮出現，可能與五、六十歲的人追求一個更健康的退休生活，不願意委屈
求全有關。不過老年人離婚，會對兒孫輩產生心理上的影響，包括懷疑忠貞的價值，甚至
造成家庭分裂。至於被拋棄的一方，無異是在人生最慘澹時期又遭逢難以承受的打擊。

處理許多離婚案件的律師瑪莉琳．史朵表示，老了才離婚，有時會比喪偶還慘，因為跟你
結婚30幾年的配偶還優遊自在地享受退休生活，但不是跟你在一起。這時成年子女幾乎
全都倒向被拋棄的一方，孫子女也會與父母同步調，結果祖父母與孫子女的關係就會出現
裂痕。

英 國《Saga》雜誌總編輯艾瑪．索米絲指出，50歲以上的一代認同年輕一輩的許多生
活方式，他們不再認為退休是人生快到盡頭，反而認為那是一個轉機，可以創造新的生
活。此外，在這個講求心理治療的年代，人們渴望隨心所欲過日子，不為別人而活，與其
兩個人痛苦，還不如各自追求快樂。

而退休本身也會使婚姻緊張關係加劇。索米絲說：「許多婦女表示，只要想到老公整天待
在家裡就無法忍受。」另外，55歲以上的老夫老妻不大可能尋求婚姻諮詢協助，所以他
們比較容易放棄，走上離婚一途。

http://news.yam.com/chinatimes/international/200711/20071110938255.html

Silent rise of silver divorce

Divorce rates are falling – except for people over 60. What is the fallout
when Granny and Grandpa split up, asks Celia Dodd.

Nowadays, few people raise an eyebrow at the news that another young
friend or relative is heading for the divorce courts. But what happens
when couples divorce later in life? What makes couples who have rubbed
along together for decades mess with the status quo so late in the day?

The unpalatable stereotype of the grey-haired man trading in his wife for
a younger model undoubtedly still exists, but there is a new desire around
for fulfilment in later life, and women in particular have the get-up-and-go
as well as the economic freedom to do something about it. Could we be
entering the age of the silver divorce?

The latest set of statistics show a continued rise in divorce among the
over60s age group; a trend that started in 1998. This is in marked
contrast to the 22-year low in annual divorce numbers for the rest of the
population. Divorce among the Saga generation may be on the rise
because people in their fifties and sixties are looking forward to a longer
and healthier retirement than their parents, and feel less inclined to settle
for second best.

The emotional fallout when older couples separate has a knock-on effect
down the generations: it divides loyalties and even splits families. For the
person who has been abandoned, it’s a bitter blow at the cruellest time of
life, when all the props that help younger couples to get through have
taken a back seat.

“Divorce is almost worse than bereavement”
A leading divorce lawyer Marilyn Stowe, of Stowe Family Law, says: “With
older clients divorce is almost worse than a bereavement because your
spouse of 30-odd years is still around, enjoying retirement, but not with
you. Adult children almost invariably side with the person who has been
deserted, and the grandchildren will follow their parents and, as a result,
the relationship between grandchild and grandparent can be ruptured.

“I think there is an increased possibility of hostility when the children are
grown-up because it’s easy for them to make black-and-white moral
judgments. And I think the idea that their inheritance might go to a
stranger is at the back of some adult children’s minds.”

Retirement itself can put an added strain on a marriage, as can the empty
nest. Soames adds: “Retirement really does move all the furniture around
in a relationship. Many women say they can’t stand the thought of their
husband being at home all day.” Added to this, couples over 55 are the
least likely to go for relationship counselling, so they are more likely to
give up than patch up. The marital therapist Andrew G. Marshall, the
author of I Love You But I’m Not In Love with You, says: “There is a
stigma among the over 55s about getting help. And older couples can be
harder to help because they have much longer-ingrained problems and
there is a huge amount of history to get past.”

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/body_and_soul/article2792649.ece